|
Title
|
Author
|
Topic |
Main Idea or Impression |
Author Experience |
A Strength |
A Struggle |
|
"The Adventure of Me and Coco"
*read*
*listen*
|
Andrew
|
This piece is about when me and Andy were doing are Bible homework of making a movie on Genesis. |
I want to show that the fun and all the things I like about being together with friends. |
I think the peer conference help me a lot, because when you think it is clear for you, but when other read, they can't even understand. So that help you think about what others think. |
I think the idea is sort of poor and the convention, too. First the idea because I think I need to get more good information, and than the convention, because I think my grammar is very poor. |
I think that my grammar need some help, and than that I want to get better on my ideas more organized. |
|
"The Worst Mario Kart Game Ever"
*read*
*listen*
|
Andy
|
This piece is about one game we played on the school bus, playing against the 9th graders, also plus Richards poor skills. |
Well, this story doesn't really has a conclusion or key point that's worth to learn, mainly I just want to show the process of the how the horrible games exists. |
I think pre-writing helped me a lot but its also the hardest one, while I was pre-writing I kept adding and deleting information. However it helped me be more easier at drafting. |
1. Voice - I think voice was good since there's many "these" in it. 2. Idea - I think the ideas might be good as well because many details support the main idea |
It's hard to explain the details as well as I want, sometimes the readers might even misunderstood, so that's why I picked an easy topic to write. |
|
"Last Game"
*read*
*listen*
|
Apollo
|
MY piece is about a time I was playing in the baseball camp. I was pitching for the team and I felt nervous and scared. |
I wan to show that how scared and nervous it is to be the closer of the game. IT is really nervous that time.
|
Editing help me the most because I can know what to improve in my writing. i think the pre-writing help the least because it didn't do anything. |
i think is the part when i was pitching |
i think is the word choise because i can't writing a really convensing peice |
|
"The Time When I Almost Submerge in the Liquid at Blue Lagoon!!!!!!!!!"
*read*
*listen*
|
Casper
|
This little piece of writing is talking about when I drowned at Blue Lagoon, and also how frightened I was, and how people saved from death. It was really exciting.
|
I want to show that I am brave, and I don't want to die so early when the exciting part of my life hasn't even happened. |
The most thing that helped me of my writing is my word choice, and also my conventions. I think the hardest thing of the writing is the place that you need to express your feelings. |
The strength of this specific passage of me is word choice and sentence fluency.
|
A big struggle for me while I was writing is the ideas and the expression, it is pretty hard for me to have a good idea, because I am often a wide thinking person.
|
|
"Totally Shocked!"
*read*
*listen*
|
Catherine
|
My piece is about my best friend who stole my money in grade 3 (not here in MAK). In addition, my sadness when I knew it was her, my best friend, the person I trusted the most in the school. |
I want to show what I felt when my best friend did that. The main idea of this piece is to show the reader how you felt when someone you trusted the most stole your stuff or did something against you. In addition, I want to show what my personality was at that time. I was really shocked and mad. |
As an author, I think the peer conference helped me the most, because for me, when others tell you what part is wrong or what you need to change to make this writing more clear or interesting, I will listen to their advice and make some changes to my writing. I think the hardest part is the revision, because once I write down something it's hard to revise it by myself, and it's hard to decide which part I should change or not.
|
I think I use more voices to describe my feelings this time in my writing, also, I added some sensory words. For example I used voice when I knew who the thief was. |
I think I still need to work on some word choice, or chose the right word to put in the right spot. |
|
"Bad Luck!!"
*read*
*listen*
|
Daniel |
I want to show that was a little stupid and dumb. I also want to show that I am not afraid to shot a gun. |
I think pre-writing is really easy, but in peer conferences I didn't like people reading my piece. Revision and editing are about the same, both of them are easy and you just have to read it though a change stuff. |
I think I had good voice in this piece, because I had a lot of dialog in it. |
I think I had good voice in this piece, because I had a lot of dialog in it.
|
struggle with starting the sentence with different words. In the memoir I keep using the word "I" at the beginning of each sentence.
|
|
"Painful Accident"
*read*
*listen*
|
Hansol
|
When Hansol was 3 years old, he rode a bike with teenager. The young boy decided to slide down on the top of hill with Hansol. All of sudden, the car came toward at us and the young boy immediately stopped. That caused Hansol to fly over the bike and almost bump on the car.
|
I wanted to show people that I was very foolish when I was little. This makes people think to take care of themselves more than usual. Because perhaps, this story will make foolish babies turn into mature.
|
I could mostly fix my expression that made my story more interesting, but the hardest part was that I wasn't sure about the sentence fluency, because I still don't get if my story goes smoothly.
|
Organization helped me to make story goes on right order. That helps the story easy to follow.
|
I have struggle with sentence fluency, because I am not sure if my story goes smoothly. |
|
"Real Madrid Gets First"
*read*
*listen*
|
Isabella
|
It's about how Real Madrid is always second on BBVA and there finally beated Barcelona and got to top which is very exciting to me but not other people. It's also about how I felt that second
|
I just wanted to show my expression and feeling. The dominant impression was just like wow Real Madrid. I want to show that I really care for them, how they play, and if they beat Barcelona or not
|
Being an author is good because you get to choose what you want to write instead someone choose it for you. I think conference helped me the most because before I thought everyone know what is Real Madrid, but after we talk about it, I figure that no one knows so I have to put some detail
|
. I think the strength is ideas because I can write tons of stuff with Real Madrid and it got me focused
|
I have struggle with the things that I am writing about and hardly anyone knows any soccer teams so I have to describe it or just completely change it into another subject.
|
|
"Lip Tragedy"
*read*
*listen*
|
Jaqulin
|
This piece is about how I felt and what it was like when I fell down and injured my lip. It also tells about how it happened. |
I wanted to show that I was trying to be tough, even though I'm not. |
Peer conference helped me the most, because I get to know what people think about my story and how I can do better. The hardest part was editing, I had to check for my conventions, which was really hard, because my grammar is really bad, so I had to check the verb tenses and all that other stuff. |
I think the strength of this piece was word choice. I showed how I felt and I added 5 senses. |
I think sentence fluency and convention are the struggles that I still have as a writer. I tried to combine my sentences, but it is still kind of chunky. Convention is also a hard one, because my grammar is really bad, so I have to put a lot of work into it. |
|
"Stuck"
*read*
*listen*
|
Jasmine
|
The piece is about when I got embarrassed in class and what happened. It was a mass of confusion in my head. I was very humiliated! |
I want to show that I am not really the calm person you see sometimes. Also I take in everything very seriously.
|
I think peer conference helped me the most, as it is good to see what others might think of my piece so I can use their advice and change some thing. I think the hardest part was revision, because I don't really like to make any big changes since I've gone this far.
|
I used more sensory words this time. I also used more adjectives, and I think I have good sentence fluency! |
I still cannot get a lot of details, and it is a bit boring, I think. I feel a little like I am blabbering on really fast. However, I don't know what to delete because I'm scared there won't be any details.
|
|
"Santa was My Dad!!"
*read*
*listen*
|
Jessica
|
It's about I found out that Santa was my dad when I was in kindergarten. I got some shock, however I learn how to found out myself what I really want to know. |
I want to show Santa isn't real. Also as I think back to the time when I was little, I feel want to go back to that time. I miss the time when I was little. So I want to say is as you are little, spend your kid time as much as you can or you will miss it a lot. |
I think looking back to my album, dairy help me the most. As you look through back your album, you will remember many thing what you had before. Peer conference and editing was the most annoying part. Sometimes my brain doesn't run as fast as I want. |
I think I have strong voice and Idea which is from my dairy. |
Word choice and convention are the struggles to me . |
|
"The Day I Got Hit by a Brick"
*read*
*listen*
|
John
|
One day I was playing basketball, when suddenly I was hit by a brick. I was in agony for the whole afternoon. |
I was dumb not to take precaution of the brick. Like most people, my thoughts were "what could possibly happen?''
|
Choosing the right word choice was kind of hard for me. I found that idea and voice help me make my story amusing. To me, amusing the reader and myself is my favorite part of writing. I like writing funny stories that make everyone laugh. It is just awsome |
I think I did a good job with the voice describing the events.
And making the story interesting with good Ideas. |
I have a little trouble with word choice and convention. It might help with my ideas and sentence fluency.
|
|
"Herbie's Departure"
*read*
*listen*
|
Joseph
|
This piece is about the time when my pet bird died. It includes the details of her burial. |
I wanted to show that death of someone I love is very hard on me. I wanted to show that I do care about people (and animals). |
I think the peer conference helped me the most. The hardest part was adding the right details to show how I felt for each period of time in my piece. |
My Ideas were strong because I showed a lot of clear details. So was my Voice. I hope my audience can hear my expression while they read my piece. |
As a writer, I still struggle with keeping my topic narrowed. I also write too many long sentences and too little short ones. |
|
"STUCK"
*read*
*listen*
|
Kayla
|
This piece is about me and my brother being stuck in the elevator. I wanted to make so that you could feel like you were there with us. It was also about the things that were happening while we were stuck in the elevator |
I wanted to show how i felt. I also wanted to show the things that were happening and what it sounded like, what I saw, and what I was thinking. I also told a little about what I thought about Jordan |
I think that the peer conference helped me the most. For example Joseph helped me get a better lead so that is was more interesting to read and so that is caught the reader's attention. |
I think that i had pretty good voice. I used words such as (SMAKKK. BOOMMMM, BAMNNNGGGG) to describe stuff and I told what I was thinking in my head and what I heard and what I saw so I think that the best was voice. |
The struggle that I seem to have is with the organization. I think that is could have been a little better I also think that I could have had a little better word choice, and sentence fluency so that is held onto the reader's attention even more. I eventually got what i needed though because of all of the revision and peer conferences. |
|
"You Don't Want To Mess With Crazy People"
*read*
*listen*
|
Kenny
|
This Crazy Women comes to my house and wants to get in and bangs the door. That Causes my neighbors to come and they start screaming at each other. |
I want to show that there really are some really weird people out there, and believe me; you don't want to mess with them. I want to show that I am unlucky, because lately a guy got that same metal problem as her, and that man was a army doctor, though the soldiers were going to kill him, and bought a lot of guns and killed all the soldiers! |
Prewriting, even though I don't do it often, but for items like this I figured prewriting helped a lot. |
The Part when I describe the people like monkeys.
|
Laziness........Makes me write a lot of mistakes and also if on paper I'm lazy to write, on computer I'm lazy to change the font and click the Bold, Italic, and the underline button and stuff. I just think it is very annoying to shift hands to the mouse when my hands are resting on the keyboard- it's just very annoying. |
|
"Kenting is FUN!!!!!!!!!!"
*read*
*listen*
|
Lisa
|
Kenting is very fun, there were beaches, beautiful sunsets and the famous "sea pig", as known as Andrew. XP |
I want to show that Kenting is a good place for vacation, but it will be worse if you met Mr. Muir there. I wanted to tell the reader that I have fun there. |
Writing a story that will make Mr. Muir happy will be a hard work to do. He told us to write more, write more. Then, suddenly, he told us to delete. I don't want to do delete most of my work!!!! =m=/// |
I think it is ideas, because once I have an idea, most of the time I can stay on to it. But the hardest is to sentence fluency; it is the hardest of all. |
I'm not very good at checking grammar, I am working on it. >_< It's so hard.
X_X |
|
"The Fight with my Brother"
*read*
*listen*
|
Nasrin
|
About how I drove my brother crazy for not answering a question that he's asking me. He's screaming sounds really annoyed me and eventually we get into a furious fight with violin bow and other weapons slamming each other and leaving mean scratches, and some bad words too. |
I can get serious in fighting depending on my mood or just laugh it through and sometimes I can't control my attitude so I said some bad words to release the anger, which is awful. |
Pre-writing helped me the most because it organized the ideas and draw a picture in my head, and the hardest part is revision, because if the story is lacking interesting idea and you add other information that may be unnecessary, and that may be a struggle. |
The part where my brother and I shouting while attacking each other because people can hear the screaming sounds, the slapping sounds and the pain and it's pretty fun to add those into the story. |
Finding the right word on the thesaurus is tiring and it got to be the "right" word, or the story might sound awkward. Sometimes, there're tons of words appear in one section and there're many sections in one page, and there're pages with different kind of words! Phew! Hard work it is, but it's helpful.
|
|
"Injuring My Foot"
*read*
*listen*
|
Niki
|
This is about injuring my foot when I was young and what happened when I went to the hospital and how I felt when I hurt myself. |
I wanted to show that I wasn't really a careful kid when I was young and I was curious about lots of thing like most of the 1 year olds. |
I think revision and peer conference helped me the most. The hardest part was revision because no one really wanted to change their writing and I didn't want to too. Peer conference was helpful to me because a lot of people agree on what is wrong and they give you advice to change it to something else. |
The strength of this piece was word choice. I went to dictionary.com and searched for strong words to describe my story. |
My struggles are: adding transitions words in and using the five senses. I keep forgetting to add transitions and five senses in my story. |
|
"Disapointment"
*read*
*listen*
|
Oluwadara
|
My piece is about how I wanted to get my brother in trouble. I was so excited about it until my mom doesn't do anything to him.
|
I wanted to show that it was wrong of me to try to get my brother in trouble. I also wanted to show that I am bad at getting people in trouble. |
Writing a story is had but when you have strong Ideas and you are full of enthusiasm about the story it's interesting and fun to write. My Hardest part was wanting to Know how to end the story. |
Writing a story is had but when you have strong Ideas and you are full of enthusiasm about the story it's interesting and fun to write. My Hardest part was wanting to Know how to end the story. |
I have strugle In having to Know what I want to write |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
